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Stuck in My Own Hole
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And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
- Romans 8:28
- Romans 8:28
Some days no matter what we do, no matter how hard we try, things just do not go the way we want them. Some days we wake up, get out of bed; only to wish we had stayed in bed.
I remember one particular day, a day when my world was turned upside down, and life as I knew it was shattered. You always hear Christians discussing their accomplishments, their victories over defeat... And I wish I could say that I overcame this challenge in my life without faultering.
Instead, I allowed myself to fall further from God, and further from my family and my friends. I let myself fall into a deep depression, one where suicidal thoughts challenged my very existence. Every morning I would wake up crying, and in agony, never knowing the reason for the events that had taken place.
The only claim to fame I have with this, the only claim to victory is that throughout this time of suffering, I never doubted God's power. I never doubted His love, or that He would take care of me. I never doubted that He cared enough about me to save me from these trials. His love, and the love of my family was the only thing that kept me going throughout that very dark year.
This part of my life I normally do not bring up, nor do I share it publicly often. However, this dark and depressing part of my life taught me many things. It taught me that God wouldn't give up on me, no matter how far I strayed from Him. It taught me that He wouldn't stop loving me, simply because I stopped going to church. It taught me that even if I focused on other things, He would still focus on me.
It taught me that I could not heal my own pain, but that only He could. Despite the detour I took, God found me. He brought people into my life who grabbed my hand, and gently lead me back to Him. He put people in my life whom He used to not only get me back where I was before this tragedy, but to make me stronger and a better servant for Him.
And least, but not last, it taught me that no matter how bad something is, or how much pain it causes; God can still use these tragedies to bring joy. Nearly 9 months after this tragedy happened in my life, I talked with a young man. He was around 14 years old, and he too was having a "bad day." Actually a bad year, everything seemed to be going wrong for him, and nothing seemed to work out. I was going to be one of the last people he talked to, simply because we were friends. He was intending to kill himself, and escape the pain he was in.
Through my own tragedies, God has given me the chance to understand what that pain is like, and the wisdom to know that if we trust Him, He will heal us. If we put our fate in His hands, He will guide us back into the light. And just like the people He placed in my life to save me, I too was able to help this young man (2 Corinthians 1:4).
I remember someone asking, "Why do bad things happen to good people." The truth is, that an event is only as bad as we let it be. Because no matter how hopeless things may seem, and no matter how lost you may feel... God is there. He is there, and he is using these things to change your life, to make you stronger. He is using these tragedies to show you that no matter how lost you may become, He will never leave you... Even when you rely on your own strength instead of His, He will be there. He is there telling you every step you take, how much He loves you, and that He will always watch out for you.
Nothing can separate you from God's love, and nothing can overcome His power (Luke 1:37, Proverbs 21:30).
On April 11, 2008 by treasure
Awesome! we only keep what we have by giving it away!!!
On November 02, 2007 by Tyrone Heydenrych
I have been going through a similar situation over the last five or so months and it was. for me, quite simple. Addressing the unrepented sin in my life. I know sin is always crouching at the door, but I feel many Christians, myself especially, entertain sin as a honoured guest. We should remove ourselves totally from the things of the world, or the world comes creeping back in again. God is gracious, always, but he is also holy. If this is not tte case in your life, then please forgive me for my presumption; it was well meant.
On October 30, 2007 by Ed
Thanks for that. I needed it. We must rely in Him 100%.
On October 30, 2007 by jim
I am in the midst of a season of pain and suffering; and want to thank you for the insight of this devotion. there are days i can think and act right and then there are those other days that i am quite ashamed with. Lord, i praise you for seeing me thru this situation. what was most insightful was what you had gone thru was to prepare you for a future opportunity to bring God glory.......praise be to His name for His infinite wisdom thanks again, blessings
On October 29, 2007 by Venkatesh
I have just come out of a very similar phase of extreme depression with suicidal thoughts. I felt that no believer would ever be going through what I am going through. I felt so ashamed. However, God has shown me that he does allow such things to happen to help me know him even better. Thanks for the wonderful devotion. It is very encouraging.
On November 30, 1999 by Jenn.
This is a wonderful lesson learned. I pray that in time of tragedy that I will be able to know these lessons for myself.
On November 30, 1999 by Meredith
I can relate to this. God is always faithful in times of trial...He never leaves us alone!
On November 30, 1999 by mandy
I felt as if this was meant for me to read... I needed it.
On November 30, 1999 by Tina
Perfect for today!
On November 30, 1999 by LORRAINE STEWART
THIS IS A GREAT SORRY THAT ALOT OF PEOPLE CAN LEARN FROM INCLUDING MYSELF. THANK YOU!
On November 30, 1999 by Florrie E, Williams
It is encouraging to me to see so many others praising God for the difference he has made in their life. Without him I would be helpless and lost. In my weakness HE is made strong! Prayer continually and in all things give thanks! My friend give me this acrynym the other day for FAITH - Forsaking All, I Trust HIM! In the BIBLE He gives us his promises, and what God says He will do! AMEN
On November 30, 1999 by Sarah
Its always good to remember that when life is tough and looking bleak, God is there. He never promised us an easy ride as Christians and nor should we expect one, but the ability to get through by His grace - 'more than conquerors'. Thanks be to God, Amen!
On November 30, 1999 by Trishia
Thank you so much for this devotion. I understand what you went through. I went through a very hard time in my life about 1 1/2 years ago. My nineteen-year-old cousin was killed in a car wreak. I was very close to him, and after he died, I went into a state of depression for about a year. I pushed away everyone. I continued to try to discover why God let this happen to me. I kept thinking I wasn't strong enough to deal with this, so how could this happen. I am thankful that God has helped me through this. If it wasn't for God and the friends and people He used to minister to me, I know that I would not have made it through that hard time. Over the summer, I was able to go to a youth camp with several of my close friends. This is the first time I was able to come out of that depression. God gave me the strength to make it. He also gave me wonderful friends who I love that helped to encourage me, pray for me, talk with me, and even just hug me and tell me they were there for me and everything was going to be okay. God has done so much in my life since then. I know that He gave me strength to overcome depression, and I know He will help me through whatever may come my way. Thank you!!
On November 30, 1999 by Keith Halbfoerster
This is very encourageing to me I have had a very difficult school year where I caught my self saying is God real or not? because of the fact that no matter what i did nothing would go the way I had wanted, academicaly number 1 and social number 2 why was i failing? at every little thing? why did people not like me who I am? whats wronng with me and my mom brought up you are fearfuly and wonderfuly made and God made you special. but I still was doubting God just a little bit even though he helped me find friends i still was having doubts about my school work, because I did everything i was supposed to and I still failed!! but my mom said its polishing (this is not a bible verse) if we stand the prods and pokes and "trials" how are we going to be Beautiful and shiny? yes i wanted to give yes i wanted to be mad at God and say I'm done but God would not let me go and if he says yes no or wait you should obey and not flip out and said God is not real! because he is even though it hurts sometimes he's there. :)
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2 Corinthians 1:4
[4] Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.
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